Thank you for your email and for taking the time to share your thoughts and reflections. We hear your disappointment shared in that we are not doing enough, by choosing to not continually post on social media in regards to the terrors of Genocide happening. We feel the cries of the collective and recognize the great shifts this world needs. We hear the grief and pain you are moving through and from where these words live in you. Our hearts too hold this grief and pain, and in that resonance, your truth, perseverance and bravery is seen by us.
We respect you honoring the way in which your guides have called you to show up for your work.
In truth, we wanted to believe that we could hold this all. That we as a community could inspire others to step upon the path of social justice work. Our hopeful hearts felt that we could create change. And we did! But no matter how many times we cross our T’s and dot our I’s, do the trainings, read the books, have the conversations, lead campaigns with hundreds of women in the streets, we are learning that it will never actually be enough – and still we must keep going in the best ways we can.
Speaking for myself, Mea, my body and spirit are no longer capable or willing of holding the expectations, projections and failures that seem to occur over and over again. I am one individual human and this all continues to solely fall on me. My boundaries have been thin and my heart open to listen, but in order to honor my health and well being, I am no longer capable of putting others first and holding this space in its entirety in the same way I have been holding it for the past decade.
I don’t consider this shift a failure but meaningful teachings in which I am certain we did our best. This doesn’t mean that we won’t keep going and won’t keep doing the necessary work, we just have a better understanding of what we are actually capable of holding. Committing to the work and Being in the work with full integrity looks many ways.
For us, we are finding that in order to show up for the work that life is calling on us to tend to, we must get very clear and refined in listening to our own hearts, distilling and fine tuning our own inner compass so we can best direct our energy towards collective good. For me, I am in monthly conversations and healings with the man who murdered my best friend, which has been a significant journey towards healing, forgiveness, and perspective. To be embarking on that path while simultaneously being called immoral and shamed for not posting enough on the echo chamber we call social media – it’s hard to comprehend. This dissonance leaves me feeling weary when I feel I am being asked to disregard my own heart’s voice and urgings.
For us, how we are steeped in this work looks different, it is not on instagram. While remembering and knowing that all facets of showing up for community are necessary, there are many different roles we all must play, and all are an integral part of the web. All of this comes up once again as we witness the horrific and inhumane events happening in Gaza. Our hearts break as does yours. And no matter how many collective prayer vigils we sit in, calls we make, conversations we have, prayers we make at our altars, donations we offer, council we receive from our Elders, ceasefire posts we share (made them both on the SW acct and my own personal), protests we march, we understand there is always more to be done and there unfortunately is no finish line. When we sit and tune into our hearts, and our Angels and Ancestors as they directly guide us to show up in certain ways, we listen. To turn away from our own North stars means we dishonor all that we are.
What we are capable of is doing this work in person and on the ground for two weeks in June. We are capable of organizing a skillshare where many can share their gifts with others in hopes to inspire someone new. We are capable of having these difficult conversations in person, face to face, heart to heart. We are capable of providing a home for hundreds of beings to lay their heads upon the earth in reverence. We are capable of creating a space that allows us to tap back into source calling in the wisdom of our Grandmothers. We are capable of creating spaces where connections can be made, lives can be changed and forever friendships forged.
Just as I honor you and your drive to share and post and on Instagram, I ask that you honor mine. Not everyone’s path, story and experience is the same and we have to remember that. No one way is right. The only right way is respecting each other’s unique path even if we don’t agree. This is honoring the Integrity in both of us.
We recognize that these challenging times may impact the resonance of how you weave into the Spirit Weavers Community. You have a place in this web and your energy and presence has been a gift. At the same time, the dynamic we share interpersonally has been a source of stress and tension that has continuously impacted my own wellbeing as well as yours. In order to continue my own work as the visionary of this event, I must remain in alignment to my own truth. As a member of this community, space holder, and weaver in this web, I share with you that if you feel called to continue to share within the gathering, I can not meet your demands and expectations of me.
May we all find the family and friends that feel aligned, respected and accepted for exactly who we ARE.
Grateful for the beautiful time and space, teachings and healings that we were all able to experience together over the last several years. May you continue to be held, supported and nourished in all the ways you deserve.
Supported in harmony with Kelsey and Sam